| its sooo hard for me to ask ppl for money when i'm broke... but God always provides... i just want my income tax to come... it would be GGGrrreat.
I am finding out that i dont know what i want in life...
i need to pray about that.
i think my bf is good for me right now in my life. its how i wanted it to be... normal. |
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| i love xanga... i love how no one goes on it anymore...
i actually love writing about my feelings my life on here... and looking back at it...
so I found a church finally... been going for half a year now. I love how the church does not judge you for your mistakes and says IF you bring Christ into your heart I dont have to change but my LORD will... my identity will change.. and i feel like its working.
I am single and i'm taking it pretty well... I miss the good times though... but dont want to put up with his sister and mother... freaks! did i ever tell you guys... i thought he was hideous when i first saw him... like nooooo acttraction.. i was beer goggled for a long time... i'm kinda pissed at myself... wtf was i thinking... hes nasty... omg... seriously... disgusting... i had to get adjusted... hahahaha i remember my guy friends saying... " what are you thinking" hahahahha now that i think about it... i really just want him out of my life... i hope i never run into him or his hideous sister... you know to think she got ssang ga pul soo sool and is stilll ugly... it just cracks me up... and shes from shi gol and thinks she has to buy nordstrom shit all the time... no matter how much expensive shit you buy you still look cheap bitch... ssok shi won hae.
I have a great sponsor.. and love the meetings.. love meeting ppl with problems and talking about it...
Not drinking.. whew... was such a big problem for me... it was my escape to everything and couldnt live without it...
now i'm starting over...
I had a problem these weeks .... what is GOD wanting from me?? why is it that i have soo much hard problems?? why all this happened to me?? who am i?? why cant i just commit suicide.. well actually the only reason i dont want to commit suicide is that i'll go to hell... if that wasnt a factor i would of done it loooong time ago..
i still dont have any answers yet but i've been praying alot more....
ppl say i look like i changed... but i feel the same...
i really do want to get married... but not to some druggie or a guy thats going no where in life... you know
All these shit that goes with life... its funny and silly at the same time... love is the key to everything...
i am sick... its the weirdest thing... i was feeling good and one min later i felt really sick my throat starting hurting and now i'm sick...strange...
i am watching KKOT BO DA NAMJA ... all the guy characters are great... i would be sooo happy with just even one of them but my fave character is KIM BUMS... he is HOTTTTTT.... i want to be his gf... =) i love that look.. the nice guy look... |
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| Why do goodbyes have to be soo sad??
I know that it has to end. but did he have to just end all things just cause he never loved me?
I wish he was a man to just tell them the truth. For this i will hate every guy there is.
omg omg i'm sooooooo pissed off.....
if anyone sees him... JUSTIN KIM from kennewick. can you tell him to get off the drugs forreals and stop lying to ppl. and tell him to pay back ppls money...... omg he is pissing me offff!!!!
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| okae... i am in deep shit this year 2008. i hate it... and i am just writing in here cuz no one reads it... but... i hate life right now today is halloween and i didnt even go out... and in two days its my bday. i had a fantastic bday last year and i cant top that off this year so i'm just staying home... i hate life!!! |
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